the hardest world to live in
is one where you have to
question everything
you think, believe and do

things of rhetorics and doubts
yet answers required
to see through the shrouds
…

Falling

they say look at what’s in front
and take little baby steps

but I look way beyond
skipping steps and leaping

then I trip

Puzzle

I love the search,
the damage,
the conundrum, and
the restoration.

I hate the end.

It’s either very good or very bad

Same ambition, different motivation

Just be it!

Wanting or needing to be better doesn’t necessarily make you a better person.

Learnt this from poker

Rationality is a big assumption in many attempts of real-world models.

Enabler

a catalyst
is a reusable chemical that
mediates an unlikely reaction

then spat out
then reused

Social observation

smart people think they are stupid as they are smart
stupid people think they are smart as they are stupid
in a social setting,
smart people continue to pretend they are stupid and
stupid people continue to pretend they are smart
until they meet at an equilibrium:
the socially-acceptable level of facade

Detour

Happiness is not part of the plan

Now that’s poverty

Insufficient resources to be my own self

We are sitting ducks

Something we often forget…

“It is simply a logical fallacy to think that because something is comforting, it is therefore true” – Michael Shermer

You

know who you were
love who you are
adore whom you want to be

Speck

eternity is where time is not
where those little pictures i’ve thought
will simply forever be,
at least until i’m no longer me.

What I want for my life is to

either change everything in it or
have nothing changed at all

sadly, neither will happen

Hypocrites

I find it hypocritical when people refer to a certain bad incident in their lives as a trial from God. It’s the same thing as not taking responsibilities for what’s possibly a result of their actions or the same thing as not acknowledging the possibility of probability.

It’s either in your head or in your intention

You may think that you’ve changed, but all that has really changed is you telling people that you’ve changed.

Differences

“Why fight so hard in life? You’ll eventually die anyway. It’s better to make people around you happy.”
~ Aditya Subiyakto

“Why try so hard to make people in your life happy? They’ll eventually die anyway.”
~ Ricky Willianto

The economy of ethics

“If people feel too moral, they might not have sufficient incentive to engage in moral action because of the costliness of being good.” ~ Sachdeva

Sounds like me

“You see the world as it is and the world as it could be. What you don’t see… is the giant gaping chasm in between.”

~ Gregory House

Buttons

tapping your button eyes waiting
your crooked fingers weave this web
of unreality within your reality
and you waited for me to fly in

while I gaze at Gaiman’s genius
your web weaves ever closer behind
clouding the realm of perceptions
but lucky me, my eyes aren’t backwards

aren’t like yours, all black buttons
seeing only black reflection of falsehood
as reality glitters through the 4 pinholes
glints that never really reach you inside

half-blinded, your reality is twisted
into something that you stand on
but it’s so twisted you can hardly stand
but you still hang on to that

ironic, it’s inside you and you can’t feel it
knocking for a rotten apple
we all know what’s inside you
and you still don’t know who we are

Eyes

tears do not well in open eyes
only in blindness do you shed
into the worldly reservoir
where space-time is a continuum
but illusion is all there is

the golden crossed hair glaring
inside the rainbow lights and colors
a golden arrow shot through the heart
not so much to make but to break
miscreants in the eyes of holy knights

that that is given can’t not be taken
only through giving are you to gain
but to be able to be given that much
of which much can’t be partaken
isn’t that just too much of pain?

but look, those eyes, supple with kindness
still fire working through the tolerance void
the same time moisture tends to peacedom
of the mind, the fantasy and the intangible
while the tangible is as given: tangled

these leashes that guide our morals
are the least we need in this elusive evolution
let them burn, smoking ourselves to freedom
to light that can only seethe through
closed, blinded and washed eyes

because illusion is all there is
where perception-perspective is a continuum
inside the worldly Reservoir
where in blindness do you shed
the tears that dwell in open eyes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

but to honesty, that’s when when i can finally see
the two sad faces
despite the switches above them
they are untouched
the two sad faces

Unresolved

we keep telling ourselves
defining expectations through meanings
it all could’ve been meaningless
but even that still means something

Balance

tipped off my footing
my senses betray
conscientious logic
or rather lie belie

like a knight unarmed
only a shield wields
an emblem of identity
that’s lost from its entity

like a moon with no sun
a void  in the purpose
sinking into the waters
redeemed by the no-day
but still, darkness

like a head that’s lost all blood
dried and emptied
by that despicable appendage
that’s sinned since Adam

craving for that shore of Omni
the self-redeeming perception
the sanctuary of the mind and soul
the personal omnirvana

but not til noon, not til soon
til the earth burns and the hell dragon shreds
all conformities and nous boxes
and leave the omniscient
wandering the omnirvana

Never enough

time is the constant
time is the fleeting
unfleetingly constant
constantly fleeting

Fortunately or Unfortunately

The only things I am certain of are my uncertainties.

Lady-Lucks

when you held that umbrella over me
or offered that plate of vermicelli
i know with you it’s worth to be

when you cloak me from that north wind
and see through my way of living
i know with you it’s worth to be

when you share your every fear
or offer a nonjudgmental ear
i know you’re the one who’ll forever be

Movers

each box a different part of me
you’ve all kept it dear for me

you’ve all held a part of my life
you are all a part of my life

Boxes

it was all an overwhelming mess
but in a second you all have said yes
to share the yoke that should have been mine

there was many, too much for just I
you all saw through that and that is why
you share the yoke that should have been mine

my life packed away in those boxes
by your hands though we are not closest
to share the yoke that should have been mine

Deep Sleep

that silhouette, i know who you are
though i am lost in dream so bizarre
you are always the one homebound star

i was lost, will always somehow be
but you have always been there for me
and will – despite the one boundless Sea

i see you again in that spotlight
so bright, but i know that i am right
you’re here to rescue me from my plight

painting that shack with your dignity
while i’m stranded in my identity
i should’ve known you’re my indemnity

i love you i love you i love you
how could i hesitate if it’s you
i sacrifice myself my all to